I wasn’t raised super religious. My family would go to our little local Lutheran church on Sundays when my stepmom dragged us all there to worship God. Of course we would rather be in pj’s watching cartoons and eating lucky charms in front of the television. I secretly enjoyed going, I loved the community and sense of purpose I felt at church. I didn’t understand the Bible and honestly most of the biblical stories didn’t make sense to me. As a kid I was all about common sense and there didn’t seem to be a lot of that in religion from my perspective. My dad was a skeptic and had strong beliefs about the business and policies of churches, Especially the Catholic Church.
I read the Bible alone in my room and prayed sometimes to a God I hoped existed.
Somewhere along the line I stopped being able to say the word God out loud and walked away from my spiritual exploration I enjoyed in childhood.
God spoke to me down in my gut.
Imagine a rebellious 16 year old girl who didn’t consider herself to be religious realizing God was calling her to be a minister of some sort. I closed that journal and buried in literally and metaphorically in my closet and forgot all about it.
I forgot about the call, turned away from God completely, until my mid 20’s when I found myself lost, unfulfilled and depressed.
I found myself believing in Universal laws, reading the secret, self-healing books from authors like Louise Hay, and eventually considered God to be The Universe. A God that was present in all things, intelligent, loving and magical. Only I referred to God as The Universe, and that worked for me… Until it didn’t.
Everything in our lives is bringing us closer to God, we just don’t know it.